Stage One: I am in a perfect position to succeed. My client is pleased with my proposed thumbnails (and why wouldn't they be?), so they have all been approved. Freedom is mine! Choices abound; the opportunities are endless! Verily, there is nary an obstacle in sight!

Stage Two: I have consumed four cups of coffee - for reasons purely associated with efficiency and NOT chemical dependency. I am a person of my word. I am young and hopeful. There is time yet for a Netflix movie or three.

Stage Three: I always knew that being an Artist Of My Word would bring pain someday, and that is why I have come prepared with a massive collection of queued-up podcasts. These podcasts will surely rejuvenate me. If not, there is always caffeine.

Stage Four: I have consumed thirteen cups of coffee. I am now at 97% Optimization. Two more podcasts and I will be at 99.9% Optimization. Sleep is out of the question.

Stage Five: It appears that I have forgotten how to hold a pencil. I'm not sure if I've ever drawn a proper thing in my life. What IS art, anyhow? Who is to say that life itself is not a work of art? Whom am I trying to please, if not my own sense of righteousness?

Stage Six: Oh, right - the client. They have asked me for 27 revisions as politely as possible, as soon as possible. I didn't want to sleep anyway.

Stage Seven: @#$%

Stage Eight: Are we human? Or are we denser? I think we're denser than this piece of dry toast I'm eating for - oh what is it now? Brunch? Lunch? Sad dinner? At this point, it's just drawing fuel. I am an art machine that runs on college food and last minute panic. I had pocky for breakfast, bacon for lunch, and popcorn for dinner. My drawing hand is moving steadily, irrespective of my motives or brain capacity. How then, can it possibly be a lie when I text you, “it’s nearly finished,” when I wish so deeply for it to be true?

Stage Nine: I can no longer identify the tangents in my drawings. I flipped my canvas horizontally, and everything became instantly worse. My life became instantly worse.

Stage Ten: HERE IS THE ART YOU WANTED, FOR I AM TRUE TO MY WORD. I'VE ATTACHED IT TO THE EMAIL THAT I FAILED TO PROOFREAD. PLEASE ACCEPT

Conclusion:

I am a worthy art professional full of professionalism and artistry. At no point during the making of this piece did I want to scream into the void or drastically alter my profession. Thank you for working with me. I shall sleep now!

Games are supposed to be relaxing and fun, right? Everyone likes games, right?? It’s not like a game’s ending could ever make you cry your heart out and question the way you’ve been living for the better part of your adult life, so let’s do this thing! C’mon grab your friends, it'll be FUN!

Without further ado, the following is a list of reasons why your emotions are volatile and nobody understands you. Choose the one that best suits your ADVENTURE!

BECAUSE THE WALLS YOU HAVE BUILT AROUND YOURSELF ARE SO HIGH AND IMPENETRABLE THAT IN ORDER TO BREACH THEM ONE WOULD NEED THE EMOTIONAL EQUIVALENT OF NAPALM
BECAUSE YOU ARE LOATHE TO EXPLAIN YOURSELF TO ANYBODY EVER DUE TO A COMBINATION OF LAZINESS AND ABJECT FEAR
BECAUSE YOU EXPECT OTHER PEOPLE TO BE UNDERSTANDING OF THE FACT THAT YOU SOMETIMES MAKE GODAWFUL DECISIONS, YET YOU DO NOT AFFORD THEM THE SAME PATIENCE IN RETURN
BECAUSE YOU RESENT HAVING TO BE THE ONE WHO CALLS FIRST, ESPECIALLY SINCE THIS PERSON ALLEGEDLY SNUBBED YOU THAT ONE TIME 4 MONTHS AGO AT A PARTY SO THEY MUST HATE YOU FOREVER, IT COULDN’T BE THAT THEY WERE JUST TIRED THAT DAY
BECAUSE YOU’VE FAILED TO REALIZE THAT YOU, LIKE EVERY OTHER HUMAN ADULT, REQUIRE OCCASIONAL / UNSOLICITED EXPRESSIONS OF LOVE AND APPRECIATION, YET YOU HAVE NO IDEA HOW TO COMMUNICATE THIS TO OTHER ADULTS (WHO ALSO HAVE NO EFFING CLUE WHAT TO DO WITH THEIR FEELINGS)
BECAUSE YOU LIVE IN SEATTLE, A CITY COMPRISED OF SOCIALLY RETARDED, WELL-MEANING INTROVERTS WHO ALL JUST NEED TO GET LAID
BECAUSE EVERYONE IN YOUR LIFE (INCLUDING YOU) HAS THE EMOTIONAL MATURITY OF A JUDD APATOW CHARACTER, THEREFORE YOU REQUIRE AN EPIPHANY AND A SASSY BEST FRIEND TO HELP YOU GET OUT OF THIS FUNK
BECAUSE YOU FEEL THE NEED TO THROW YOURSELF AT OTHER PEOPLE’S PROBLEMS EVEN THOUGH THEY NEVER ASKED YOU TO, THEN YOU GET ANGRY AT ALL THE GOODWILL YOU’VE WASTED ON THE UNGRATEFUL BASTARD WHO WON’T EVEN ACCEPT YOUR SAINTLY ASSISTANCE
BECAUSE YOU AREN’T EATING ENOUGH KALE, HAVE YOU TRIED KALE? IT’S A SUPERFOOD ALSO CHIA SEEDS — HAVE YOU TRIED CHIA SEEDS? ST. JOHN’S WORT? GETTING LAID??
BECAUSE YOU FOOLISHLY BELIEVE THAT CALLING FIRST AND PLANNING A SOCIAL EVENT SOMEHOW SIGNALS THAT YOU ARE DESPERATE AND LACKING IN FRIENDS, THUS YOU HAVE DECIDED TO STAY IN AND BINGE-WATCH TEN EPISODES OF “ARCHER” CUZ THAT’S WHAT GROWNUPS DO ON A SUNDAY
BECAUSE YOU AREN’T GETTING ENOUGH SUNSHINE AND VITAMIN D — OH THAT’S RIGHT YOU LIVE IN SEATTLE — HAHAHAHA YEAH OKAY GOOD LUCK WITH THAT
PERHAPS YOU ARE GLUTEN OR PEANUT OR ALCOHOL INTOLERANT? BUT EVEN IF YOU'RE ABLE TO INHALE EVERY EDIBLE THING IN EXISTENCE LIKE A HUMAN GARBAGE DISPOSAL YOU SHOULD STILL GET THAT CHECKED OUT, I DUNNO MAN I’M JUST SAYIN’

Moment of truth: Which answer did you pick? Your choice will determine the fate of your character’s path—

Oh wait never mind, you lost the game because there is no good answer. Better luck next time!

(Did you at least learn something about yourself? Okay, now go improve your interpersonal relationships!)